That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize