Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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