Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
