Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
