I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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