I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
