Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
