3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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