you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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