How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize