I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
