Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
