what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
