Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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