I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
