Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
