She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
