Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
