Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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