Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize