he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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