doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm at about main and main street
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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