Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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