Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
