she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
