well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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