Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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