FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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