I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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