i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
