i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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