No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Randomize
