READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
