He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
