Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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