They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
