Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
