His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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