My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you will always have a special place in my vag
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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