Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
