So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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