i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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