just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
