So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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