I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
