i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We had to coat check the pizza.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
