There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
