I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
