but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
