When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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