it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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