i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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