I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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