FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
