I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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