I got chris browned last night
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
