hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
