you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
