Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
