The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
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