Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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