I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it was like eating out sand paper
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
