Sry I called you an 8
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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