i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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