If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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