let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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