I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
