i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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