You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
