You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
