after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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