i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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