sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
