Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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