You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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