And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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