'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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