Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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