you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
